What Does it Mean to be a HIGH-VALUE Woman?

What does it really mean to be a high value woman? It's about more than just surface-level qualities; it's about being a good woman with genuine care for others. Let's dive into relationship advice and explore how feminine energy and self worth play crucial roles in building strong relationships, as well as what to look for in dating advice.

Chapters

• 0:00 What Makes A High Value Woman
• 1:26 Hosts Rejoin And Set The Stage
• 2:06 Defining Value Beyond Looks And Money
• 4:14 Dependence, Provision, And Control
• 6:40 Stereotypes About Women With Money
• 8:50 Social Media Narratives And Nuance
• 12:05 Love, Self Love, And Safety
• 15:40 Peace Over Drama As A Standard
• 19:40 Submissive, Leadership, And Safety
• 24:20 Thoughtfulness Beats Big Spending
• 28:15 Guardedness, Grind, And Openness
• 34:00 Long Distance And Financial Freedom
• 38:20 From Broken To Blooming

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

What makes you a high value woman?

SPEAKER_05: 0:01

Being a good person, I think genuinely being somebody who cares about other people makes you a woman of substance and makes you a good person. I feel men think that value means, okay, she looks good, she can carry my kids, our kids gonna look cute and coochie on fire, like she looked good on my arm, we can walk any place, she can switch it up. She needs me. And I don't think that's what men should be. I think that's when you find yourself in trouble, when you look for that woman. And then later down the line you find out, oh, when she when you divorced it and she took all your money. Well, that's what you brought her in with. So what's she gonna take? I make the same amount of money and I don't need you, I want you, I don't need you. You don't have that power over me anymore to make me say, well, I can't go anywhere, so I have to put up with whatever he's giving me.

SPEAKER_02: 0:43

You hear a lot of men say that women with money, that women that have their own, they're too masculine, they mouth, y'all talk too damn much. All these negative stereotypes and these negative things because you also have the income.

SPEAKER_05: 0:56

But then you're also a gold digger if you don't have the income. So I'm like, so what am I like?

SPEAKER_02: 1:05

This is Legra.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07

This is Stephanie, this is Cherie, and this is Ivania.

SPEAKER_02: 1:17

And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife one laugh at a time.

SPEAKER_05: 1:26

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered. We are spilling the tea on Midlife one lap at a time.

SPEAKER_03: 1:35

That's Lebra and I'm Stephanie.

SPEAKER_05: 1:39

I was gonna bring everybody in. I was trying to take control cut start over. We be going.

SPEAKER_06: 1:45

This is like Stephanie. This is Sharice, and I'm Ivania. And this is what happened when you haven't been together for a minute. Right.

SPEAKER_02: 1:53

Right, right, right. Well, I wanted to continue our conversation we had about high value men and high value women, if y'all don't mind. Because you know, we could have talked about that forever.

SPEAKER_03: 2:03

Forever. So we have to break it up. Yes. And so the question is: if a man's value is based on his provision and leadership, then what makes a woman high value?

SPEAKER_01: 2:14

And income, right?

SPEAKER_05: 2:15

Wasn't that like a big provision based? Now, whose definition are we looking for? Our definition or society's definition of a high-valued woman.

SPEAKER_02: 2:25

So let's uh the only thing we can do is talk about our own experience. So what what's what's what makes you a high value woman?

SPEAKER_05: 2:32

Integrity. I am able to like I think a woman should be able to provide for herself. Now, if you want to help provide for me, I can help provide for you as well. I think that should go both ways. Um I don't want to bring religion into it, but you have to believe in something bigger than yourself, not just be self-focused, not selfish, um giving and then being able to receive and give equally. Um I talked about this in my episode. Just being a good person, I think genuinely being somebody who cares about other people makes you a woman of substance and makes you a good person, a person of high value. Now I feel men think that value means okay, she looked good, she can carry my kids, our kids are gonna look cute, and you know, she got good too. She looked good, got that coochie on fight, like she looked good on my arm, we can walk any place, she can switch it up. She needs me. And I don't think that's what men should be. I think that's when you find yourself in trouble, when you look for that woman, and then later down the line you find out, oh, when she when you're divorced and she took all your money. Well, that's what you brought her in with. So of course you're gonna take it.

SPEAKER_03: 3:37

So or if you lose your job, she ain't able to pick up the pieces. A lot of women can't pick up the pieces when they're solely dependent on a man, and then y'all all suddenly looking crazy. And I feel like um the dentist guy um out of the guy, he killed himself and his wife and his daughter. They have a big mansion, yeah. Like maybe two weeks ago. Yeah, and the rumor was is that he was the sole provider, and they have a big, beautiful mansion. But he had, I guess he gambled a lot or whatever. And so he just was underwater and he just decided to take everybody out. Look, don't take yourself out. Because me and my daughter was having a conversation. She's like, Well, why would he do that? And I was like, he probably feels like they're all I got, and I wouldn't leave them with all the debt and all the headache and everything. So I'm just gonna take everybody.

SPEAKER_05: 4:27

Men tend to take everybody. I don't think it well, I think women commit suicide.

SPEAKER_03: 4:32

We don't take your family. I've never heard of a woman doing murder suicide.

SPEAKER_02: 4:36

I'm not pretty sure his face. What's your what's your your face saying something?

SPEAKER_01: 4:40

Oh, my face is saying, what happened? Where are we going?

SPEAKER_05: 4:43

Well, uh, he was the provider. He was the provider. Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 4:47

Because he was the provider.

SPEAKER_05: 4:49

And if they can't do that, then sometimes their whole thing is. Persona is like, yeah, that's who they are.

SPEAKER_03: 4:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 4:54

Especially when other people, other men look at them as the person that has it all together, and now you don't have anything like that shame. Oh, and the ego.

SPEAKER_02: 5:05

Well, what is it what is it when a woman I'm I'm trying to think of the description that we read, the high value man um last week of a high value man, and of course, the all the integrity, all the leadership, all the things, and then it boiled down to money. So now that you have as a high value woman and you have the money, does that make your value less?

SPEAKER_05: 5:32

It depends on the money. Yeah. And who's making the definition?

SPEAKER_02: 5:35

Because why is that making us less? Because we you've also or we've also been able to accomplish.

SPEAKER_05: 5:42

Because I think money is power and control. If you don't have the most money, if you don't make the most money, then there's no real power you have over me anymore. Like you can't say I'm gonna do whatever I want to, you're just gonna take it. Like if I make the same amount of money and I don't need you, I want you, if I don't need you, you don't have that power over me anymore to make me say, well, I can't go anywhere, so I have to put up with whatever he's giving me.

SPEAKER_02: 6:02

So you you hear a lot of men, and I'm this is these are all generalizations, you guys.

SPEAKER_05: 6:07

Yes, everybody's in the disclaimer.

SPEAKER_02: 6:10

We get it, yes. But you hear a lot of men say that women with money, that women that have their own, they they're they're too masculine. Um they mouth, y'all talk too damn much, you you, you know, you you mouthy, you you know, all these negative uh stereotypes and these negative things because you also have the income.

SPEAKER_05: 6:33

But then you're also a gold digger if you don't have the income. So I'm like, so what am I? Like, it's no in between. I want your money, I don't need your money.

SPEAKER_01: 6:41

But on social, so the level set a little bit because I I know where you're going and I agree with you. I do see a lot of younger women on social media talking about they don't need a man because they have all of those things, but it's such a negative connotation in the way they're on social media and talking about it and just doing the most about it, right? That it makes it hard for us who genuinely did well for ourselves, right? We fit, we we were forced to, but we fit all of those qualifications that a high-value man sit in, including the income, but we're still soft. We still we're still feminine, we still want the things. Nothing has changed about us other than we put ourselves in a good position. But we have another side, right? And remember what we talk about is not everybody, but like we must admit social media sits there. And when I watch some of the folks sit on there and talk, it's just like, huh, you know, and so it makes it for, you know, some of the folks that's looking at it like, damn. And then we get labeled for what other people are out there doing. But one of the things that I feel like that society doesn't do anymore is take a person, look at me independently for who I am, what I bring, what what I'm about, what my worth is. That we look at, we just put people together just like you look at us, right? Mature women who have our stuff together. But we're lumped in. We're we're yeah, because we're lumped in the well, how what difference do does it make that we got it going on and we're this side? Y'all, you're this, you're that. So we we you know what I mean? We continue to be just be dropped in this category and category of stuff. And I feel like not that I really give a shit, but we we're you know, for the most part, when we're talking about us collectively, why do we have to keep pulling ourselves out of this bucket and you have to do that? To be placed into another bucket, and then you're put into another bucket.

SPEAKER_02: 9:05

It's human behavior. Yeah at the end of it.

SPEAKER_01: 9:07

It is, but how do we change the terminology?

SPEAKER_05: 9:12

Say, I don't need a man, I don't need a man to provide because I can provide, but I need a man, or I need to be a good one. No, I need a man, I need a man if I want to say a man, or I need love, I need love. I think we all have to survive off of love. Like we may not all need a relationship, we all need love to survive. Shout out to Bell Hooks, who's passed away, but I just read the book all about love. I forgot that book. Oh my god, it's life changing. I love that book. It is life changing. And it's not just about romantic love, it's about love in all aspects, but it is so good. It is so good. And part of what she teaches, we do need love. Like as a community and everything. We think of it as some fluttery feeling in your stomach and all this stuff, but no, it is. It's part of the hierarchy that we learned in school. Yes, it is so much deeper than that. So we do need love. We don't need somebody to provide for us and do all these things that we think society needs, says we need, but we do need love. We need to love each other.

SPEAKER_03: 10:05

So genuinely love.

SPEAKER_02: 10:06

And I think the the biggest thing for me at this stage was I learned self-love.

SPEAKER_00: 10:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 10:13

Where, and don't be wrong, I always Legra's always been Legra. But the insecurities, being unsure of yourself, being unsure of who you are is younger Legra. On the outside looking in, she's confident, she's whatever, but she was so uncertain of herself. And I think at this stage of my life, I love me. Good or bad. I mean, I'm not everybody's cup of tea, but I love me. And then I think when you operate in that yeah, that's so you don't take a lot of bullshit when you love yourself. That real that realm, absolutely, that I love me, but it took me a long time to get here to say I love Legra. I love everything about that bitch. I love her. Now she got some faults, and she is not perfect. Right, and she's not perfect, but to love myself. And so for me, a high value man, because I'm in a I'm in a place of peace in my life. Um, and it took a long time to get there. But I'm in a place of peace in my life, and I don't want anything, and that includes friends, family, a man, anything don't disrupt my peace. So when I look for a high value man, it's never it's never been money. Even when I was in my 20s, it wasn't about money. My mama's name was DeLois, just in case she didn't know. Delois didn't play about her daughters. She didn't. Y'all gonna be independent. Not and my mother always had an okay, but she always had her her grind on. She was always trying to do something. She was always pulling, I hate to say it, she was always pulling her men up. You know what I'm saying? She was the woman in the background, but that same boss heifers sat on the side of the bathtub and scrubbed her man's hands and feet every day because he he worked in a he owned an auto shop, so he had to grease and stuff. So she sat and buffed his hands every day. She his dinner was still on the table. And when it what dinner wasn't on the table, guess what? Sometimes he cooked. Because she worked, she was working. Uh things. You know, so I've always seen that, and she's always raised us to be independent. But at the same time, I also feel like that's been to your detriment. Right. If you ask anybody that's ever dated me what was the best thing about me, they'll say I was independent. If you ask them what was the worst thing about me, they'll say I was independent.

SPEAKER_05: 12:56

How do you think that plays into this role of being submissive? Because I think that should be on both sides. Should be men and women, and I think sometimes women, I think men feel that we're not able to be submissive and they want a submissive woman. And the definition of submissive is very important in each relationship because it could change. But I feel like men also have to be vulnerable and be submissive in certain areas where, say, we have the expertise in something, be willing to learn from us and be submissive in that. And then also, you know, we be submissive in certain ways as well. So I think sometimes men don't look at it. Look, I think the value that they place in women is a woman that can be submissive and listen and you know.

SPEAKER_02: 13:33

But I think in order to submit, I have to build safe. Safe, yes. Yes, to submit.

SPEAKER_03: 13:38

Yeah, and you have to be the leader. And I have the trust that you're gonna make the right decision. For us, everyone's not gonna walk for us.

SPEAKER_02: 13:45

I think it's built in us, just to be honest. Every woman is submissive.

SPEAKER_03: 13:48

Yeah, we're gonna take care of her.

SPEAKER_02: 13:49

When she's safe.

SPEAKER_06: 13:50

When she's safe, when she's secure.

SPEAKER_02: 13:53

When she's yeah, you have to put me in that space. If I gotta deal with your bullshit all the time, no, bruh, I'm not submitting. And I'm gonna fight you. Right. Look, oh no, that that's that's definitely look, he said I'm gonna fight you. You know, but you have to put me in that space. But that's that's the relationship. You know, if our relationship don't put me in a safe space, if I'm always on guard with my man, yeah. I can't how do I submit to someone that can't lead me? God, you can't. Because we what's that definition? Leadership. It ain't it is it's not the money, it's not the money. And you see a lot of women that make more money with their men, but those men know how we treat their woman because it's not about the money. It's not about the money. You don't put me in my feminine space. Because believe me, believe me, if I could stop with love in the name of Jesus, if I could stop. I would, but I can't because I have to eat. Yeah. Because you're not providing for me. Now, one thing I'm not gonna do, I is I've never been about a man's money. I'm a little things. I pay attention to the details. They do. I love filet mignon, y'all. Y'all know I'm a snake eater. You got me on that. Thank you. But I don't eat it every day. I'm like a hot dog. Right. And especially if you burn that sucker all the way around on the grill, cook me a hot dog. I don't expect you to be a chef, but it's the effort, it's the little things. I there was one guy that I used to date, and he never, it was never money when he stopped at the gas station and got me a pack of Skittles, the purple pack. Because they were my favorite. Because what he said was he thought about me. That's what that is what's always been important to me. When you make decisions about what we're getting ready to do, I know you thought of me when you made that decision. Because you made that. You know, like one of the biggest things was like I don't eat seafood. So I don't care that you eat seafood, but when you order something, consider what I'm going to eat too. Let's go to the seafood restaurant. Legrand got a bomb ass fillet meal here for you. Thank you, boo. And you can eat all the crab legs and shrimps and scrimps and script that you want, but you consider me when you made decisions. That's high value for people. Yeah. That's high value for me. Don't my my life ain't bumpy. Don't bring no bums. Don't bring no drama. Oh my god. Don't bring no bums. I felt so bad the other day I had to pick the dogs up from um the groomer, and this gentleman had a really big cane corso when I was going inside to get my dogs. So I had to wait for a minute. And then, you know, he was, and he had a pickup truck, so he put the dog on the back of the pickup truck. And I was waiting for him to, you know, make sure he was latched in there before I walked by. So I went in to go get the dogs, and I'm got the dogs, and it's been a few minutes. I'm like, this man is still outside. He's still outside. And I was like, okay. And I because I didn't want to bring my dogs out with his dog on the back of the truck. He's like, okay, I'm gonna just have because he's taking too long. So I took him out, the dogs are barking at each other, all that shit. So I'm trying to get the dogs in the car, and he's like, I've been waiting on you to come out, and I was like, Okay, he was waiting on you to leave. He was like, I'm sorry, I'm so I'm sorry, I was waiting on you to leave because of the dogs and stuff. And he's like, You got a man? And when I tell you, the first thing out of my mouth was like, and I thought about it after the fact, and I was like, ooh, you're cursing at me right now. Because all I thought about, all I thought about was my piece. Jeez. He was a little bit. You could tell he was clearly younger than me, too. And all I thought about was, ooh, it's some bullshit that comes along with you. He's cute. Yeah. And it might not have been, that might not have been my best response, but that was my response because the first thing I thought of was, ooh, nigga, if you know what peaceful space I'm in right now, and I know it's some bullshit that comes along with you. It really was. It was my first response. And I was like, ooh, you are cursing at me right now. That is all. And he's like, about having a man. I was like, yeah, but thank you so much. And and I put my dogs in the car, drove my ass off, and didn't think twice about it. But I thought about it later when I got home.

SPEAKER_05: 18:26

He could have been the one. Was he 6'5?

SPEAKER_02: 18:28

I have no idea. Because I never looked. Because when getting in, I mean, when I was getting out of the car, all I saw was your dog. Yo, Kane Corso, and I'm trying to avoid your dog. And then so getting in the car. So, but when he looked, I mean, he was attractive, I clearly all of that stuff. But I all I thought about was, no, oh, oh, mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03: 18:45

So what if people look at us like that? Because I just did that to somebody. I'm sure they do. And that, and see, and so we know we're not what they think we are. So you looked at him, like, damn, he's nice looking. He's gonna is it gonna be some mess. And he might, some men might look at you and be like, oh, she's beautiful, got it going on, he's about to do that. And now we don't do it. I'm sure they do. Like, dang, but what if he wouldn't have been? But that's why I said I thought about that. No, I'm still scared. But that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02: 19:18

I thought about it after the fact. But I did think about that. After the fact. But my initial response was bruh. My space is so peaceful right now. I don't mm mm mm. I don't even want to ripple in the wave. Don't, I don't want to all of that. But it might have been my body.

unknown: 19:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 19:42

You never know. It could have been. We might have. And we will never unless you're watching. Mr. King Corsic.

SPEAKER_06: 19:55

We will never know. Hit this lady with never.

SPEAKER_02: 19:58

But I did, but I did think about it after the fact. But my first, but I had to, again, go home and process that for myself because all I thought about was my piece.

SPEAKER_03: 20:07

Like, I don't want no man.

SPEAKER_02: 20:09

I don't want no man.

SPEAKER_03: 20:10

But you gotta be open.

SPEAKER_02: 20:11

And you do.

SPEAKER_05: 20:12

Because you don't know what the universe is bringing you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02: 20:15

I agree. I agree. But I also, but that that was me having a conversation with myself. Legra, you done put up a wall. You don't wall. You don't put up a wall. Because don't disrespect. I get hit on all the time. And when I tell you I could care less, but why is that, Legra? Because I don't know. I think it's just the constant. Like you just said, I'm you but put it, you're put in this bucket. You're put in this bucket. You're put in this bucket. And sometimes at some point you just say, I'm not getting a bucket at all.

SPEAKER_05: 20:43

But how are you going to meet somebody if you get hit all the time and you're like, I do.

SPEAKER_01: 20:48

But you've been on a you've been on a work grind as well. And it's very hard. It really is. It is so hard to deal with somebody when you're on a work grind because they don't understand it. And you always in your computer. Oh my God. You just, do you ever take a break and oh there you go again? And you, I mean, you kind of take a lot of slack for trying to get to a space that you want to be in. It's really hard to me. No, it's um it's hard for somebody to really understand where you are and where you're trying to get to, to buy into that. You know. But sometimes they might be on their grind too, though. And we bring together, we meet up when we get together.

SPEAKER_06: 21:30

But because we're women, it's different. It's different. But you gotta be open. You got like, if God send you all these people now, are you like one of us?

SPEAKER_02: 21:39

I'm open, but I think in this moment I'm not. And I had to, I had to have that conversation. Because exactly what you just said, I'm in my grind right now. And honestly, and I think last week, I had a lot of stressful shit going on last week with work and and and in a good way, but I was I was already overwhelmed. And I had to tell myself, I had to admit to myself, Legra, you are overwhelmed. You have so much on your plate right now. So when he even just saying hello, I was like, oh uh-uh. I got you. That is not something.

SPEAKER_05: 22:11

It was in a different space than that.

SPEAKER_02: 22:12

Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't in that space. So I had to, but I didn't process that till later. In that moment, I was like, uh, mm-mm, no, don't even talk to me. Let me get my damn dogs and go home and go back in my queendom and get back on my grind. You know what I'm saying? So I think it was just this head space that I was in at that moment. But I had to, I had to process that. I had to have that conversation with myself. Like, why did you respond like that?

SPEAKER_05: 22:37

Because you recognize it though. You talk about it.

SPEAKER_03: 22:41

But I realize now that I couldn't be in a relationship right now with all the stuff I got going on. Like I sit and tell myself, because I feel overwhelmed with a lot of stuff that I got going on. I'm like, I couldn't be in a relationship because I wouldn't even want to talk to him half the time unless he was like, babe, I I just feel like I wouldn't have time and they would feel neglected and stuff like that, to where I was like, it's not me.

SPEAKER_02: 23:04

Because you wouldn't have you wouldn't have time to be consistent. I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03: 23:07

And they would and they would feel some kind of way, and I promise it ain't you. I just need to get this. At least you recognize it. Some people, I just need a man, so I don't care what's going on in my life.

SPEAKER_01: 23:15

I think I'll be in a relationship when they don't need to be in a relationship. Long distance works for me because it allows me that time. You know what I mean? It's like the open ticket. I'm coming, right? And then when I have something going on, um there's benefits to it. Yeah, you know, you can say, hey, I got this going on.

SPEAKER_02: 23:34

But see, the great part about that is though, and I'm gonna go back to you being a high value high value, and we're gonna talk about income. Okay, of high value, is younger Legra didn't like long distance because one, you could hardly see each other, because two, you couldn't afford to be flying back and forth all the damn time. Let's start with that. Yeah, I couldn't afford to be like high value allows you to see that. I couldn't afford, we couldn't afford to see each other all the time. So those those relationships, yeah, when you were in something long distance, younger Legra, you couldn't, both of y'all couldn't afford that back and forthness all the time. But now that you're in this space, like you said, that the distance allows y'all to still have your individuality and y'all travel together a lot. You you go up there a lot. Hell, she just left here. You know what I'm saying? So the back and forthness, you can afford to do that now, this high-value woman, got your points together. Right. So it allows you to have that type of relationship. But younger Legro couldn't do that. No, that relationship wasn't gonna last because y'all was gonna never see each other. That's true.

SPEAKER_03: 24:34

And back in our day, there wasn't a lot of time. And you had to pay for collecting. You had to pay for your distance calls. Right. And there wasn't no frontier. You wasn't going for$29.

SPEAKER_01: 24:45

Frontier elite. I'm a frontier.

SPEAKER_02: 24:48

You wasn't going for$29. So that but that allows you now that you can actually do those things where we couldn't do that before. Right. We couldn't do that before. But for me, my uh my high value, um I I it's really weird when people ask because it's hard to talk about yourself. And I was so proud of you. Let me put that. Let's y'all better forgive her her shouts. Because the next one episode one, episode one of season one.

SPEAKER_03: 25:17

You better cross. You better cross your girls a whole lot.

SPEAKER_02: 25:23

Let's move that out. She would not talk about herself in that way. And look, I like to think that the couch had a little bit to do with the button also had a lot to do with that. Okay, how about you meet? Look, right? So let's let's rewind that just for two seconds. You were coming out of a relationship where you were, and I hate the word broken. Oh no, it's broken. Okay, well, but if you want to use that term, okay, where you're you weren't at your best. Let's put it that way. Okay. We won't say you were broken. You just weren't at your spirit. You were spirit, your spirit wasn't at its best, your confidence wasn't at its best. But look how that many the right people in your life knows how to bring that out of you. Yeah. Knows how to bring that out of you. Because you were high value. Let's keep it 100. You were high value in that other relationship. And you made more money in that other relationship, and you carried and paid the bills, and you did it in that other relationship, yet you were broken. Yes.

SPEAKER_05: 26:22

Point to everybody, don't do that.

SPEAKER_02: 26:24

Well, it's not anybody, but you but but that attests to the the man.

unknown: 26:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 26:30

And then it helped you grow too.

SPEAKER_03: 26:32

Yeah. Because then you know what you're doing, put up with it. I swear, I prayed the day before a minute.

SPEAKER_05: 26:36

I prayed for God's best. I said, Lord, just send me your best and give me the discernment to know when it arrives. Right. So come through. Yes. And he came to I ask God to make me.

SPEAKER_03: 26:46

Look at the attitude of that. Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02: 26:49

See, that's what that man's supposed to do. And it don't matter that you were a high-value woman before then. That man brings that out of you. He brings that energy, that softness, that all those things. Because it's in, it's in, we're women. It's in us. It's in us. So I love it. So I had to point that out because you couldn't have said all those things better. And if you did, we wouldn't have heard you.

SPEAKER_03: 27:12

Because that voice would have been something like this. We wouldn't have heard you.

SPEAKER_02: 27:17

As a matter of fact, what a couple months will do for you. What a couple months will do for you. But I love it. And I love, but look how also for high value, and I'm using the air quotes, women are sitting on the same couch together, not competing against each other, can be friends, ain't no mess. Hello, can we can we get a community or something for that? Period. The stereotypes that they say that we all are, that we're showing right here, that that's just stereotypes.

SPEAKER_05: 27:54

I wish people in other countries would see this because they we go there and they think, oh, that's odd and she's this.

SPEAKER_02: 28:00

She's housewise, and she's right now. And it's no knock against those shows they make for great TV. Yeah. That's TV. That's TV. That's not reality. That's TV. Unbundle us. That is TV. I love this, y'all. Yay, yay. For two seconds I felt feminine. I was gonna cry, but I was like, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_03: 28:19

She's a flower, y'all. She's a flower. But another bloom. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01: 28:25

You want me to cry? No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_03: 28:26

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01: 28:27

Because we know it. Who can cry at the time? Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 28:31

Who can cry at the drop of the diamonds at damn charisse? I sure can. Okay. But what you were sharing something at the table yesterday because you worked here yesterday. You worked over here with me yesterday. And I you was like, whoo! And I was like, oh my God, you haven't had that in a minute. Okay, well, we just talked about it. It was your post where you put the post up about your your you just took 500 people to Jamaica and you were just talking about your post.

SPEAKER_01: 28:57

Yes. So yeah. We didn't even talk. You know what? We did so much this summer that we didn't talk about. So we didn't talk about your trip to Jamaica and my trip to, but yeah, just getting back from um Jamaica, taking 500 people, and I sat on the sofa. I had a lot of moments. I had a moment because one of the families who cooked, I heard from and they called me on FaceTime, and I just felt I was out there bawling like a fool. And then, yeah, and then I had another moment when I literally was thinking about you, Legra, and I posted it. And the the thought process was when I met first met Legra, um, I was like, damn, she's rough. I like her sister because her sister's just fun and talk a lot, and you know, she just she just rough. I don't want her doing my taxes no more. That's what I thought. But then as I got to know Legra, I'm like, okay, she's really soft and she's really nice, and she's really kind and she's really helpful, and the thing that I Said about Legra was that she's got this big and all y'all travel agents is in that or was under her, whatever, because I'm about to put y'all out there, but she's got this big network, and I'm saying this to you, and I said it in the post, but I learned a lot from you, and you didn't have to teach me anything. You could have kept it all in, which is what a lot of people do, right? I ain't teaching her because she might be better than me, but leaders like Obama and some of the people who are real leaders, they put the best people around them because they know they'll take care of them, right? And so when you started building your team and bringing people onto your team, some paid attention, some didn't. And I was just thanking you publicly for the tears.

SPEAKER_02: 30:51

Here go the tears, y'all.

SPEAKER_01: 30:52

I'm gonna squeeze my butt.

SPEAKER_02: 30:54

But I was thanking, squeeze. It's okay. Squeeze, squeeze. Here come the tears, y'all. That's it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 31:06

But I was thinking, I was thanking Legra because Legra's something else, y'all. We meet in the middle we meet in the middle. I mean, that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02: 31:15

Because we meet in the middle.

SPEAKER_01: 31:16

Yeah, I'm just the marshmallow that gets here, and she's the rough and tough with the Afro puffs. That just came to my brain. We meet honestly nicely in the middle, but I wouldn't have been um without her showing me. I probably would have gotten there, but I wouldn't have gotten there as fast. I wouldn't have, right? Um and so you helped me shortcut. I wouldn't even have been in travel. You're the one who did my cuts and said, you need to be doing something else. So, you know, you give people their flowers, and I wanted to do that in that post and all of the great congratulations, but nobody probably reached out to you to say, Lekra, I I want to come back or whatnot. But my point in saying that is that when you have powerful women who are confident in who they are, you don't have to worry about, you don't, you don't, seriously, you don't have to worry about them pulling back or not wanting to help you or not wanting like this this is something different and special. You know what I'm saying? And some people in a lifetime don't find this. That's true. You know what I mean? And we just found something special because baby, Jamaica, fuck. That's what it was. That whole song, um, it was amazing. So thank you, Legra, publicly. But um, we just have something. We have something great, and and not only that, where I am now from where I was when I met you, right? Even emotionally, where you are. Oh, yeah, because I would have been on the floor rolling over and crying. Girl, I would have been on the floor rolling right now. Just now, I would have been crying and rolling. But um, I I'm always gonna have a part of me that with me. Y'all know that, right? That whole emotional side of me can't help it. I'll be like that for the rest of my life. But we have something great, you know. And you couldn't even have told me years ago that I was um a high value. But I do think too, because we're talking about it. Even though we had the income. Right, absolutely. But when we talk about relationships, I think that what's been poured into me for the last couple years, just in my relationship, you know what I mean, help put me in a space that I will never go back. There's no way I could ever accept some of the things that I accepted before. Um, but you don't know. Sometimes you, and I said this before, sometimes you never know what you're missing until they arrive.

SPEAKER_00: 33:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 33:54

Exactly. And then when it's there, it's like, oh, is this what this was supposed to be? Yeah. This is what it's supposed to be. You know what I mean? And so um, yeah, I think that term, I don't think that term let me upgrade you. Sometimes people think that's negative, yeah. Upgrade me. But when you both, like I'll this ain't okay, y'all gonna laugh. But going back to Olive Garden and all of those places, you know what I'm saying? Like the things that you thought, oh, we're gonna eat really. You know what I mean? When you start dating somebody who's a chef and you really introduce a state 48, or we go to every country and I want to find the best restaurant, and you're gonna do this, like we upgrade each other back to what you were talking about. We can help up, we can help upgrade each other. Yeah, it doesn't always have to be this financial thing sitting here. If you both walk away, if that happens, but better than better than we were when we met, then it's that's just an amazing thing. So well set. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 35:06

We're gonna wrap that up, dude.

SPEAKER_01: 35:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 35:10

Thank you really.

SPEAKER_01: 35:15

It is what it is. And just sitting it, not doing it. Because remember what we used to say about you uh, and I've done this for a very long time, dimming your light around other people because you didn't want them to look at you a certain way or even be mad because now it's like uh this is just what it is.

SPEAKER_06: 35:33

Bougie used to be a bad thing. I'm like, what's wrong with being bougie?

SPEAKER_05: 35:36

Like, if I like certain things and I want to be like, and whatever that is, your circle is very important.

SPEAKER_02: 35:41

It is. Your circle is very important. Yeah. When you got faux bad bitches, L L. And I know that that that that term bitch offends some people, but these are faux bad bitches. When you got four bad bitches who, again, you're not competing with each other. You're not, I'm not looking over my shoulder. I'm not trying to check and see where you at, what you're doing, and I gotta try to top that. All those, all those stereotypes that I think they put on successful black women.

SPEAKER_03: 36:09

And we're humble. No, but there's women like that. Oh no, there are. But we will go.

SPEAKER_05: 36:14

But we need you to comparison. That's what social media does. You compare yourself to other people all the time. Well, they have this car, I gotta get this car, they're wearing this, they have that bag, I gotta get this bag. I can't do it. No, it's not worth my.

SPEAKER_02: 36:26

But it's not, but you I don't want competition in my circle. Not in your circle, not in my circle. Now, if you see something I need, I expect for you to be honest with me. I expect, tell me, and if it's something you can help me with, let me help my sister. It's not, well, let me help you. You can't now you can't go no higher than this. Right. Because I'm right here. Right. So you can't go no higher than this. Let me help you to a certain point. No, let me help you.

SPEAKER_01: 36:48

But we do help a community. Now, I can say that about no matter what we are, how much we talk, at the end of the day, we are true, which is why personally I love our circle because we're humble. We are a very humble circle. And we, girl, we gotta talk about, we help each other, we help other people to a fault. Like we just gotta talk about that one day. But we really do.

SPEAKER_02: 37:13

At the detriment of yourself sometimes.

SPEAKER_01: 37:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 37:16

Especially financially.

SPEAKER_01: 37:18

That part, that whole entire part.

SPEAKER_02: 37:20

And as single women.

SPEAKER_01: 37:22

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 37:23

Well, just like look, I'm throwing it all out there. Jeez.

SPEAKER_01: 37:26

Look, all of our faces are like No, it's the truth because some I I I yeah, I just don't know what some people see. You gotta have the audacity to ask for things that you really shouldn't ask for. Get it cheese. Audacity is at an all-time high, but we got talking about it. But that's a whole nother episode.

SPEAKER_02: 37:41

We're gonna wrap this up because we could be here all day. Because especially if we get into yeah, yeah, y'all already know. This is like girls, this is Stephanie, this is Sharice, and this is Ivania. And this is Timeless Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on MidLife one laugh at a time. We will see y'all next week. Are we gonna be here all day?

SPEAKER_03: 38:02

I love it.