Healing, Traveling, and Minding My Business

We’re swapping people-pleasing for peace and protecting our tiny circle like it’s sacred. Midlife maturity hit different — what we tolerate, who gets access, and how fast we walk away has changed big time. We’re laughing through stories of silent exits, healing trips, and the classy art of saying, “that was weird of you.”

In this episode:
• That unapologetic 50-and-don’t-care energy
• Summer recaps, reintroductions, and business flow
• The toll people-pleasing takes on your body and mind
• Knowing when to talk it out vs. walk it out
• “Do you have space?” — consent before the heavy convos
• Balancing nurturer vibes with independent woman energy
• Rest, travel, and being joyfully unreachable
• Access, privilege, and the micro-vacation mindset
• What’s coming this season — more laughs, lessons, and real talk

Chapters

• 0:00 The 50-and-don’t-care mindset
• 1:53 Hosts return and season setup
• 3:16 Reintroductions and summer check-in
• 5:50 Boundaries, people-pleasing, and emotional health
• 10:30 Matching energy vs. walking away
• 13:45 The “weird” comeback and silent exits

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

Now we already know we say this all the time as mothers. The ones that hurt your feelings are the ones that's supposed to be. You care about them. You care about them. You know they care about you, but the people that are not important in your life, there's not a lot you can think of me. There's not a lot you can say to me. And my circle is so small, it's not a lot of people that can hurt my feelings. It's not that I you know, a lot of times people think I'm so bulletproof. No, I just you're not important enough to hurt my feelings. That's that 50 and attitude. It is real. It is real. You get to a stage you don't care about what I don't care what people think about me. I don't care what you say. And honestly, if if you don't have nothing to do with the queendom and pay no bills in the house and whatever, your opinion is not up. Right. This is Legra.

SPEAKER_00: 0:55

This is Stephanie. This is Cherie. And this is Ivania.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05

And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on Midlife one laugh at a time. Timeless and Unfiltered season two. This is Legra. This is Stephanie. This is Sharice. This is Ivanya. And we are here spilling the tea on Midlife. One laugh at a time.

SPEAKER_00: 1:27

Hey, lady.

SPEAKER_02: 1:30

You sound so refreshing.

SPEAKER_01: 1:31

Like, hey, lady.

SPEAKER_02: 1:34

We haven't been together in what since a minute. June. Yeah, since it's no, because we were in Jamaica in June. Okay. Oh. Yeah, we haven't been together in a long time. Well, I want y'all to know that I have had people that reach out and wonder when we were coming back. If we were coming back.

SPEAKER_01: 1:53

Wait, what happened to the episode?

SPEAKER_02: 1:56

It's called busy. It's called life. Especially summer. Summer. It's called life. We've been extremely busy. Um, because everybody's businesswomen.

unknown: 2:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_02: 2:06

Right. Right? Everybody business women, and we just had stuff happening. Oh, nice. Life is life. And everything. Some of us have relationships. Look, we know who that is. Look at the grin.

SPEAKER_01: 2:19

Some of us. Look at the grin. Look at the grin.

SPEAKER_02: 2:22

Some of us had been nursing all summer. I was. I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_01: 2:27

Some of us was breaking up with motherfuckers. Okay. We're having a good time too, though.

SPEAKER_02: 2:34

Lord. Well, I just wanted us to come together on kind of just an impromptu, fun episode of just kind of recapping our lives, what's going on, reintroducing ourselves. Um, we had a good little momentum for our first season. Yes. You know, our first season. So let's let's um keep it going. Yeah, keep it going. Well, for those of you that don't know me or that is new to Timeless and Unfiltered, I am Legra. Um I'm 55, probably. 55 in fact. 55. Y'all may have noticed I got some, I had my summer hair on. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. You know, I got about 10,000 wigs back there. Oh, my little, my little my tendril. Is that what it is? I don't know what it's a tendril. Okay. I call it a curl.

SPEAKER_03: 3:19

Put a curl in the front.

SPEAKER_02: 3:22

My little tendril. And um, what's what's who what's a little bit about me? Um, business owner. I got too many businesses, just to be honest. I gotta focus.

SPEAKER_01: 3:36

You got a lot.

SPEAKER_02: 3:38

You do uh you do. I do. I'm I'm a serial entrepreneur, I hate to say that, but I also um I don't know. I have this thing about picking stuff up all the time. Like, I'm okay. This was my revelation for summer. I'm going to stop trying to save everybody. Ben told you that. Yeah. I know. And I know I've I've said I was gonna do it, but now to see things on paper, to see how it affects me physically, I was really drained this summer. But I think it, but it I I take responsibility for because I was pulled in so many different directions and doing so many different things that it's like Legory, you can't you can't do that. You you you gotta protect you first and you gotta look out for you first. So I'm I'm going into my selfish stage.

SPEAKER_01: 4:26

I say that was hard to get too. But I think it's maybe all should because I'm tired of people saying little snigh comments, and I never really say anything back because I try to avoid the confrontation, but I'm gonna start giving it back to people.

SPEAKER_02: 4:38

Well, you you're you're newly in your 50s. Start giving it right back. You're newly in your 50s. It's gonna be a second nature, it's gonna be second nature to you in a minute.

SPEAKER_01: 4:49

It's gonna come out. I don't even want to be that person, but I'm just sick of people. Trying to be like building up.

SPEAKER_03: 4:57

Yeah, she's sick though. It actually is sick if you hold it in and you just try to avoid co you know, conflict sometimes.

SPEAKER_01: 5:04

Yeah, because then I'll break out in a high. Yeah. And then it'll manifest through, yeah. When I'm stressed and just go, oh it'll it'll come out.

SPEAKER_02: 5:12

So that's I'm like welcome to the world of 50s. Yeah, and starting everybody out, girl. Just just just let them have it.

SPEAKER_00: 5:21

Just a person, I just don't want to be. But they they come at you and they let you have it, so give it back. Like, well, you know what?

SPEAKER_02: 5:29

I don't I don't think I don't think it's bad if you are like I'm I don't think I ever try to come at anyone maliciously. A lot of people probably don't think they right. I'm just saying, I don't try to come at you maliciously, but when you bring that to me, I am very good at swatting it back. Right. I'm very good at swatting it back because at some point you have to protect yourself, and and more so mentally, it ain't even physically, just mentally protect yourself. And you you just get to that stage, like you can't just say anything to me or do anything or say anything to me and think that it's just it's just gonna ride. But that's that 50 and fuck it attitude, it is real. It is real. You get to a stage you don't care about what I don't care what people think about me. I don't care what you say, and and honestly, if if you don't have nothing to do with the queendom and pay no bills in the house and whatever, your opinion is not friends, right? Your opinion doesn't matter. Your opinion is not important to me, and I think it takes a long time to get there, especially as women, because we're attacked from every, you know, your body, you know, from every angle that it takes it's just maturity, I think, in time to get to that space. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03: 6:44

I believe I believe that it's wisdom and maturity because it there's something that people say all the time, and they say, um, I'll match your energy. And I always say to people, I'm definitely not matching energy. Because if you come with something negative or whatnot, it's just not for me. I'm not even gonna put myself in that space. But what I do is I silently walk away, and people don't even realize I'm gone until they realize I'm gone. Right? So I don't need to address everything, I don't need to talk about it, I don't need to know why. I'm just gone. But it makes me feel better because I don't have to digest it. And it doesn't matter who you are, it could be family. Like I know how to turn things off because I think for so long we've been told, well, that's your blood and that's your family. And I know I don't, you're not entitled to treat me.

SPEAKER_00: 7:34

Because sometimes I feel like if I don't say something, I didn't say anything in that moment. Now they think I'm okay with that. And that behavior. Yeah, but you have to say this.

SPEAKER_03: 7:42

So to your point, you have to know when to say something, but I don't have to still match crazy energy. Yeah, I don't match crazy boundaries. And I can say something to you. Sometimes it's right then and there because you need to. Sometimes I can call you and say, hey, do you have space? It depends on how important you are to me to be personal. Thank you. That part. Hey, do you have space? Because I never call somebody and let's have a conversation. Because I need you to be open to what's going on.

SPEAKER_01: 8:10

But my back line when people get rude, I'm gonna start saying, That was real weird of you. And that's gonna let them know. I'm sorry, that that's gonna let them know what that like. Are you gonna say it with that tone too? Yeah, like that was very weird of you. And then go on to something else. Cause you I'm gonna make you feel like shit for trying to act crazy with me. That's gonna be.

SPEAKER_02: 8:31

And you think that statement is gonna make them listen, it's gonna have to.

SPEAKER_01: 8:35

Because I don't want to say that and evolved. I do not want to go back to being That was real weird of you. That's that's my groan comes. That's your new Yes, my groan comeback. Uh oh. So if anybody hear me say that was real, that means you done pissed me off, and I'm probably not gonna talk to you anymore.

SPEAKER_03: 8:55

That's that's if that if that was. That's what I do.

SPEAKER_01: 9:00

That's what I do, and then uh people will call, like people will piss me off, and I'm like, okay, and I won't talk to you no more. And then people call, well, I done did now, because I've walked away silently, and then they'd be like, Why you ain't answer the phone? You ain't did it because I'm not I'm not doing this with you. Just not so I'm gonna add a little twist. Tell you that you're weird, weird. You're weird.

SPEAKER_02: 9:22

Let me know how that goes. You see, I'm sitting there going on. Okay. I think if I walk away, that's when you know you're in trouble.

SPEAKER_00: 9:30

I don't want to do that. Just walk away from somebody just saying something that's like like in the middle of their conversation, like, okay, I'm gonna do like this with you.

SPEAKER_02: 9:36

Well, well, sometimes I don't even say anything. I and and sometimes I think, well, most of the time, silence is the best thing. It is because usually if you get a response out of me in that moment, you're not gonna like it. We'll probably never be friends again because I'm gonna rip you from head to toe. So sometimes I'm silent. And I'm gonna tell you no, if I care about you, I'm usually silent. Because I have to think first. I gotta think first. How important is this person to me? Because I'm gonna rip their whole life apart. But but if you're someone, I don't really hate to say it, if you're not of that importance to me, important to me, yeah, I can address you in a moment and then walk away. But that's part, that's part of just getting to a stage where you can't walk up and say just anything to me. Now, we already know we say this all the time as mothers. The ones that hurt your feelings are the ones that's close to you. Because one, you care about them, you care about them, you know they care about you, but people that are not important in your life, there's not a lot you can say to me. There's not a lot you can say to me. And my circle is so small, it's not a lot of people that can hurt my feelings. It's not that uh, you know, a lot of times people think I'm so bulletproof. And I'm no, I just you're not important enough to hurt my feelings, if that makes sense. But I think that again, that gets to stage. But I think a lot of people, and I have to say, I have to give younger people credit too. They had a stage in their life too, they don't give a shit about what you say either. Now they can go that good and bad because it got pros and cons. Because there's some young folks, somebody needs to say something to them or whatever, but it's pros and cons. But I think we were just always reared to people please. Yeah, yes. That's a per that's a perfect term. Yeah, especially as women, yeah. We were raised to people please, and at some point you get to a stage and you gotta realize I don't care what you do, what you say, you're not gonna please everybody. And you gotta get to a point that you just don't care, and you just gotta be you and live your life. And I think I'm I'm I'm there, but I'm also at trying to always pull people in. Yeah. Yeah. Well, but but it's funny because, and we're gonna get into this episode. We got a whole lot of stuff planned for season two. Of one hand, you're considered a nurturer, but the other hand, you're this hard, rigid, independent, you know, woman, which is completely the opposite of what you're saying being a nurturer is, but we'll get into all that stuff later on, honey. But I got a whole lot of stuff to unpack in this season, too. How about y'all?

SPEAKER_03: 12:10

Yeah, yeah, we unpack every time we see for real. It goes off.

SPEAKER_02: 12:16

Oh, goodness. But yeah, but I'm glad to have y'all back. I I'm glad to be there, too. Now, the thing is, too, our schedule is a little crazy coming up this fall, so I know we gotta maneuver doing a little bit with our our filming. What y'all got coming up? What's what's what's exciting?

SPEAKER_00: 12:33

Two days.

unknown: 12:34

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00: 12:34

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02: 12:35

Where are you going?

SPEAKER_00: 12:36

Cabo.

SPEAKER_03: 12:36

Oh nice, yes.

SPEAKER_00: 12:38

I just came from Cabo.

SPEAKER_03: 12:39

Yeah, I was just in Cabo. Where are you cruising out of? Uh Long Beach. Long Long Beach. Nice. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00: 12:47

Well, yeah, that makes sense. They go straight down now. Yeah, the cruise ship also goes to Alaska. So we don't have like the open air, like how some of the other ones, like the Grand.

SPEAKER_01: 12:54

Wait, it's going to Alaska and no the same boat. Oh, I was gonna say, y'all going down.

SPEAKER_00: 13:00

Yeah, packed a lot of clothes. Right. No, um, the same ship goes to Alaska also. Okay, they also go to Camel.

SPEAKER_03: 13:06

Got it, got it, got it. That's so dope.

SPEAKER_00: 13:08

Okay. I'm not working, I'm not taking a laptop, I'm not buying Wi-Fi, don't call me, don't email me. Oh, if it's an emergency, find another emergency contact and reach.

SPEAKER_02: 13:19

I you know what I'm so excited about. I'm I'm so excited about I'm going to Bali. But the funny part is I'm not excited about Bali.

unknown: 13:27

Why?

SPEAKER_02: 13:28

I'm excited about that flight where I'm where you can't access me for the next 24 hours. Because when I tell you, I'm gonna be sleep. I'm gonna be asleep. I did buy a business class, I do got the cocoon, I do have all of that, but to get our flight leaves at night, so I already know I'm gonna sleep through the night, which I I probably should have just got a coach seat, just to be honest with you, because I'm literally gonna be asleep.

unknown: 13:50

Dang the hole.

SPEAKER_02: 13:51

But I'm gonna probably sleep for 24 hours and can't nobody call me, text me, or whatever. I'm excited about not being accessible.

SPEAKER_00: 13:58

We just need to get rest, yes. That's part, honestly, and I've been telling everybody, look, don't call me. I'm not accessible, don't call me. Like I'm on vacation. Tell me.

SPEAKER_03: 14:09

But I think as we transition into our next part of life, quite honestly, um, those are the things that mean a lot, are needed and required. It's not like, oh, I can't, or I can't, or it becomes a you know what I mean? Let me see what we're gonna do. I think it's a part of what we have to do.

SPEAKER_00: 14:27

Some people wait a whole year and they take one vacation. I'm like, why?

SPEAKER_02: 14:30

Like, I have a vacation every other month or every month, like well, a lot of times people think it's it's it's expensive, but all but people are in different situations when you have children. Absolutely, you know, we don't have young, young children. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You know, the time off, the type of jobs they have, and some people can't afford it. They, you know, they got to work through it the whole time. So I think we're blessed enough, you know, that we have that flexibility in our life. We have some some freedoms that some people are still dreaming of, even at this stage.

SPEAKER_00: 15:03

Vacation in your own hometown, take in a hotel room somewhere, do something nice for the weekend, explore your city, like take a break. Like, everybody deserves a break.

SPEAKER_01: 15:11

If you work hard, I'm I'm looking forward to just vacationing is a privilege because everyone can do it and a blessing.

SPEAKER_02: 15:21

So I think if you can do it, okay. All right, well, look, thank y'all for joining us for our opening of season two. We're here to get into some shit for these next few episodes. Y'all ready? Ready? We're ready. We're ready, we're ready. Unfiltered. Well, wait, Stephanie. Unfiltered.

SPEAKER_03: 15:40

Why did everybody know?

SPEAKER_02: 15:42

We all look that direction. I'm sure we got some stories from this summer.

SPEAKER_03: 15:49

Unfiltered, nice, Stephanie.

SPEAKER_02: 15:51

Yeah, yeah, because we queen of stories. Queen of stories. We had some stories before we even started filming today. So um, let's just wrap it up and let's get ready for our exciting season two. Yeah, this is Lecker. This is Stephanie, this is Sharice, and we're gonna be spilling some tea out on midlife, one laugh at a time.