Timeless & Unfiltered
Welcome to Timeless & Unfiltered, the podcast where we keep it real, raw, and refreshing for women in midlife. This channel dives into the joys and challenges of midlife with humor, honesty, and heart. From navigating menopause, dating, and fashion to tackling health, relationships, and rediscovering passions, we cover it all—nothing is off-limits!
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Timeless & Unfiltered
When Love Takes Over
In this episode of Timeless and Unfiltered, we’re diving deep into the world of Evanya – the woman, the story, the truth. Raw, real, and unapologetically powerful, Evanya opens up like never before. From her personal journey to the pivotal moments that shaped her, this episode is a heartfelt ride through resilience, growth, and evolution.
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Let's start with that. So I met Dr. Oh, we're going to get this full government name. Ok, let me get a sip of tea. Let me get a sip of tea. I'm going to claim them.
Speaker 2:Do you think love is different now that you're a little older?
Speaker 1:I think it is. I think when we mature, we know better what we want, what we put up with. You say you're not together. You build together, like this is Legra, this is Stephanie, this is Cherie and this is Evania.
Speaker 2:And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife. One laugh at a time.
Speaker 1:Hey everybody, welcome back to Timeless and Unfiltered. I know y'all miss me. I'm back. I'm back. I've been on the road, I've been traveling, but here's another episode, all about Evania. Here is Legra.
Speaker 2:And we don't have Charisse and Stephanie today Not right now, but they'll be back. They'll be back. What's going on? We ain't seen you in forever.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you, I've been traveling, which is a good thing. It's a great thing. I love traveling. I love to have back-to-back-to-back-to-back trips. I'm planning a trip while I'm on a trip. Yeah, I've been gone, but I just got back this morning, literally like a couple hours ago, so off the plane, straight here. So you're going to get some sleep when you finish, I'm going to get some sleep and I fly out again on Wednesday. Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Well, this is Timeless and Unfiltered, with Allegra Devanya. Where we it to your midlife, one laugh at a time well, miss savannah been traveling um got a new love in her life. Okay, is that? Is that the reason why we're traveling? Yes, well, I could tell you what that's. That smile hello, because if you show any more teeth, somebody doing something right?
Speaker 1:yeah, he's in all areas.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh well, that's so good. I'm hating a little bit though, just in case you was wondering. You know, everybody knows I'm a low-key hater.
Speaker 1:I wish this for everybody, like what I have right now. I wish for everybody. Oh, that's wonderful. I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Speaker 2:Well, we might as well start there, then we want to get to know Evanya. Why is Evanya smiling this damn hard? Let's start with that.
Speaker 1:So I met Dr Anthony Terrell.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're going to give his full government name. Okay, let me get a sip of tea. Let me get a sip of tea.
Speaker 1:But yeah, former Navy SEAL professor, I don't say where- Well, how did y'all meet my cousin's wedding?
Speaker 2:So it was just an impromptu, just happened.
Speaker 1:It was actually supposed to be an engagement party and it turned into a surprise wedding. Okay, he knew he was going to meet me. I did not know I was going to meet him.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, I'm sorry. He knew he was going to meet you so they were setting, he talked to my cousin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they Stea. It did not go well, like the conversation wasn't there.
Speaker 2:Maybe he was nervous. Maybe he was nervous.
Speaker 1:No, he doesn't get nervous, he's just he had been walking all day. He walked all the way from Hilton downtown to Morehouse College. Why that part? Okay, so he was kind of out of. This is what he says. He was out of sorts.
Speaker 2:So he tried to pick me up in the buffet line with well, you know, mushrooms are good for your microbiome.
Speaker 1:Was that the hell line? That was the hell yeah. I was like well, first he did try to introduce himself and he's like oh, I know all about you. I was like, but and then he tried to recoup it again in the buffet line and I was like, and then I danced all night. You know, cause it's not a dance?
Speaker 2:floor. Were you dancing with him all?
Speaker 1:night, no. And I kept asking him well, do you dance? Yeah, I dance. He never danced. So I was like, nevermind, you know. I told my cousin. I said, yeah, I think I'm too much for him. And he's like, why did you not hit it up? I was like I said we got another friend, just let me know, you know. But then he's like he told him to give me it. See, he was probably a little nervous, he might have been Now he going to say he not.
Speaker 2:He going to say he not. You know he going to say he not. But he was probably a little nervous because, like you said, you didn't know that you were meeting him. I didn't. He knew he was meeting you and if I know folks, they probably sent him some pictures.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and successful, that's all I got. No name no occupation, no anything, and I didn't know when.
Speaker 2:I was supposed to meet him.
Speaker 1:So I had no idea, but it was a surprise.
Speaker 2:But it worked out.
Speaker 2:Well, whatever it is, I still putting a smile on your face. Okay well, I am not mad at it. I'm a low-key hater, though, but I'm not mad at it. Mad at it, but I also know, just because you know, while we're just barely just touching a little bit on your personal life, you come out of a relationship that you had been in for some time, and we ain't got to go into detail. We ain't got to go into detail, we ain't got to, we ain't got to call no names or anything. But what makes life and love different now, this, this time around?
Speaker 1:first of all, it's a level of respect that you know you're not getting, but you kind of put up with it. But now you get it and this is like well this is how it should have been all along just respect, love somebody that will do for you and you do for them and you feel like everything you do is reciprocated. I don't feel bad giving. You want to give and that person wants to give. You have two givers and it always works out. I say that all the time.
Speaker 2:When you're a giver, you have to match with another giver, because a taker will drain a giver.
Speaker 1:All they do is take and they expect you to take, and the moment you say no, then you're selfish and you don't care anymore.
Speaker 2:And all this stuff.
Speaker 1:So I think that's been the major part of it.
Speaker 2:And then he just cares.
Speaker 1:He's a protector, he's a provider. All the stuff your dad wants you to have. I have all of that in one person.
Speaker 2:Oh that's wonderful, that's wonderful. I'm still hating, though. Just in case you were wondering, I'm still.
Speaker 1:Just in case you were wondering Yours is coming, yours is coming.
Speaker 2:It might. He's out there, he's out there.
Speaker 1:It is what it is. You just got to be super tall.
Speaker 2:Now do you think that part? That part Because I need to be able to accommodate my shoes. And these are my accommodate, my shoes. I'm looking for you, though, my shoes. Do you think love is different now that you're a little older?
Speaker 1:I think it is. I think when we mature we know better what we want, what we will put up with. Like you said, you're not trying to build with somebody Like they kind of have to have what they have already, and then you have what you have and you put it together and you build together. Like I'm not trying to. Honestly I don't want to support you in your dreams, but I'm not trying to support you at the base level, like if you're somewhere and you're trying to get higher, that's different. But if you're coming in with nothing and then I'm coming in, I have what I have. I can't give you everything that I have for you to.
Speaker 2:You always hear you know especially for men, I always hear men say it, I very rarely hear women say it what you bring to the table yeah, like they always talk about what you bring into the table, what you bring into the table and stuff. So yeah, I completely, completely get it love at this stage. Well, one let me say I applaud you for finding love at this, this stage, because it's well for it. Well, it kind of ran you over and knocked you on the head. There we go.
Speaker 1:It kind of ran you over and backed up what are you saying?
Speaker 2:And then had to back up. Oh goodness, yeah, but finding love or even dating just dating at this stage of life is really weird. I always say I'm kind of, I always feel like I'm in this in-between stage. Even though I'm in my fifties, I still feel like I'm in an in-between stage, like there's a line between old, because I used to like older men, but now older is old and there's a difference between being old and being older.
Speaker 1:And that's what I ask too like is he old, does he act old? Because I've had people who are young and they act old and act old and they have people who are older and I'm like they have more fun than me, right right. It just kind of depends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then you got the young ones that like the older women but they're not attracted to me, I don't know. And then also, just being a successful woman at this age, also finding someone that's also successful in their own right, and success don't always mean money. When I say successful, people always think you're talking about like you've got to make this and you've got to have that. But, like you said, you've got to be on a journey to something, something you got to be working in, something towards something, have something going for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something going for you At this age you can't be fixing to. You know, I say that all the time I'm going to be, I'm fixing to Well when it start, because we about to retire, so when you going to start?
Speaker 1:I'm looking, I can't take care of you when you keep. I'm looking, I can't take care of you, you keep fixing to.
Speaker 2:You know, we in our 50s, you can't fix it no more. Yeah, that's true. So I get it. I get it. Well, what would? What would Ivania want us to know about her? We've, we've had, I don't know, 15, 16, however many episodes you know. When you have all the personalities on the couch, you it's everybody has to get their moment, their time, but this is, this is ivania's time. What would you want us to know? Because we see quiet ivania. Yeah, we see, um well, I, until you turn music on. Yeah, let me get my fifth co-host until we turn music on. Then we see the other Avanya. Well, at least some of us do, but from the camera perspective, you know people that watch us. What would you want them to know about Avanya that maybe they don't get or they can't see when we're all here because we have to spread the love?
Speaker 1:You can see that I'm an introvert, but I would long to be an extrovert you would long to be I would long to be an extrovert you would long to be. I would love to at least experience it for at least one day, to see what that feels like Because I'm always in my head. I'm nervous. Now the attention is kind of like all on me. I love attention, but I don't like the spotlight.
Speaker 2:If that makes sense, I like attention from a small group, but being in front of a lot of people is nerve-wracking. So what made you?
Speaker 1:do this podcast knowing that people would see you. Now, look, we can't say millions, but we will. One day we're going to say millions of people.
Speaker 2:Right right, we can say thousands, we're thousandaires, we're thousandaires.
Speaker 1:We don't get to the millions. We got a bill. I'm incredibly, I'm very insecure and I'm trying to get out of that too.
Speaker 2:Which is so funny. You know, we always say we're our worst critics.
Speaker 1:I'm super insecure and I'm trying to get out of that and I'm trying to get out of my head and just be me and I feel like everybody on the couch. We all have our own personalities, yes, and it's like sometimes I'm like okay, I need to be more like Stephanie, I need to be funny and I need to be more like Cerise, because he's so sincere and there's loving and caring. I need to be with you because you're the boss, and I'm like but those roles are already taken. So now I'm like where does Evania fit in? What's Evania's role besides just the quiet one?
Speaker 1:and the shy and, you know, timid one, and I'm like and I'm still trying to figure that out. So that's the nerve wrecking part for me. Yeah, I get emotional, but I think about that all the time, like where do I fit in, like how do I mold with this group of women? And I wonder if there are people out there that kind of fit into my narrative too.
Speaker 1:I'm sure they do, because I feel like there's all the other narratives there and I say I can't be you, I can't be Sharice, I can't be Stephanie, I can't be you, I can't be Sharice. I can't be, stephanie I can be me, but I need to find out who is that. So that's why I'm like, because I think I'm a little bit of all of you, but it's still. I need to figure out what is, because you know, like the Golden Girls, everybody had their role so.
Speaker 1:I'm like okay, so which one am I who?
Speaker 2:am I which one are you, the Golden Girls, the.
Speaker 1:Golden Girls.
Speaker 2:Oh, we got the tongue out because I see Blanche. You see Blanche, I do, but low key, but hidden, hidden. I see Blanche Really.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking I don't want to say the dumb one, but I see Rose, but she was funny, but she was like she didn't know she was funny but I was like she seemed like a little clueless sometimes. Sometimes I feel a little clueless.
Speaker 2:Well, I think we all have those moments, especially as we get older too, I think we all have those moments.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 2:am I doing today? I see Blanche, I think you have, I think you're a hidden Blanche. I could be.
Speaker 1:Blanche. Now See, she was my favorite.
Speaker 2:Yes, I could, because it would be unexpected. I don't see Dorothy, I don't see Dorothy, but I love Dorothy too.
Speaker 2:I loved all of them I mean they all had their thing, but I hope well. First let me back up. I wouldn't want you to try to be me. I wouldn't want you to be Stephanie. I wouldn't want you to be Stephanie, I wouldn't want you to be Sharice. I think your identity, your personality, is just genuinely you. You know what I'm saying. Like, it's just genuinely you, and I think that's why the four of us sitting here work so well together. I don't want to cry no, because when I first thought about doing this, I thought about, I really thought about who would sit on the couch with me.
Speaker 1:I'll have an overbearing personality sometimes, see, and I'm people like I know I do, and when you say that, I'm always thinking like why would she choose me?
Speaker 2:No, because I wanted it to really represent. I could have got other people to act just like me. I know some people that act just like me. I didn't want it to be all funny, I wanted heartfelt, so I needed Sharice. Stephanie is a wild card.
Speaker 1:We needed a wild card.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, but I also wanted someone a little more reserved and honestly. We know each other, but I think I've learned more about you sitting on this couch than the couple of years that I've known you you know what I'm saying like it's, everybody has their own thing.
Speaker 2:So I hope you. I don't want you to feel like you have to be anybody. I just want you to show up and be Evania, because every I think people love Sharice, people love Stephanie. There's people that love me, there's people that love you. I think it we pull from all aspects of women, which is why I think we work so well together.
Speaker 1:Okay, I want people to want to watch me too.
Speaker 2:I want to bring something to the table no, you, but I think you do, I think you do and I think you'll when you you feel more confident. But've seen, but to be honest with you, you came a long way from episode one. We was like, okay, y'all be quiet, let Yvonne speak now. We can't hear you.
Speaker 1:We can't, we can't hear you.
Speaker 2:What'd you say? Is she speaking in the microphone? Is?
Speaker 1:her microphone working, that really clicked. I was like dang, like nobody can hear me and I'm like I'm really tough to me in my head. I was like dang like nobody can hear me and I'm like I'm really to me in my head. I'm like I'm yelling and I'm like, and they can't even hear me Even when we do the mic checks. I'm like hello and I'll yell and they're like, yeah, that's good. I was like that's good.
Speaker 2:Like I'm yelling.
Speaker 1:But okay, I'm announcing and pronouncing and all those terms Enunciating and all that stuff pronouncing and all those terms Enunciating and all that stuff, because I do have an accent, I'm country y'all and I know how to speak well, but I don't speak well all the time. When I'm comfortable, I don't, so I'm Geechee, you know what?
Speaker 2:that is, the Geechee community.
Speaker 1:It comes out when I'm comfortable.
Speaker 2:Well, we waiting for the Geech, we waiting for the Right. Well, we like to say, well, we waiting for the geech, we waiting for the geech On the peachy geech.
Speaker 1:Well, you know what?
Speaker 2:One day we have to go to South Carolina. You do.
Speaker 1:You can't go now. It's hot though, but yeah, we gotta come.
Speaker 2:I've never. I've always heard Charleston was beautiful. It is it along to something? The Rainbow?
Speaker 1:Rose, you know the waterfront? Yeah, the waterfront, it's historical, not for the best reasons. I think where we go is different.
Speaker 2:It's the South, ain't none of it for the best reasons, but they go because it's all nostalgia and the plantation.
Speaker 1:We look at it differently.
Speaker 2:I won't even live nowhere, to say plantation. I'm not living in such and such plantation, I'm not visiting.
Speaker 1:I'm not living in such and such plantation subdivision.
Speaker 2:I'm not living nowhere that say plantation. I'm not celebrating that.
Speaker 1:Some people they love that, like they have cotton places and they're decorating with cotton. I'm like this is not decor.
Speaker 2:But you know what? But that's the South.
Speaker 1:That's the South, but it's their South.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you know what? That's still our South too.
Speaker 1:Well, the thing is, I wish we were. I feel like we're not included in that South Like because there's some little Southern outfits I see the little white ladies wear. I'm like, oh, that's cute, I would wear that. But I don't think they made that outfit for me.
Speaker 2:Well, hell, that's because being a black woman period. A lot of stuff ain't made for us, which is why we have to make our own identity, our own brands, our own for us, by us. Our own food booths we got to make our own food booths.
Speaker 1:And here's some of that. In Charleston there's a lady who's African American and Asian. She had a little shop, the tiny tassel. She makes these type of dresses and she's black, but everybody shops their white, black little earrings and everything so super cute. Has a shop downtown Charleston and then a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2:Well, I can't even say I was going to say they. But I'm sorry, but these Caucasians is thicker than us most of them thicker than rounder and butts bigger but some of them naturally there's some cornbread eating, fried chicken eating stuff too, because some of them are thicker than us like wait she born like that you know natural. But you know, in the world of cosmetic surgery we can all have it. Some of us just go a little overboard with it, but you know yeah, you gotta go to Charleston and okay beaches best beaches in the world yeah, we'll have to go, stephanie.
Speaker 2:We gonna have to go to Charleston well, stephanie, done tried to go to Ellery's in the last couple of weeks, probably three, four times, and they never got in the door. We tried to go that other night Because it was crowded. I think they were going on a Friday night and I think maybe 8 o'clock she said the line was already wrapped around the door. See, because that's old people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they got to get in there early.
Speaker 2:Because they got ready to go to bed by 10. 11, so you know they got to party from 6 to 10. You know our party's now from 6 to 10.
Speaker 1:We don't leave the house at 11 and 12.
Speaker 2:We used to leave the house at 11 and 12. But now we back in and don't shower. Sometimes. I know when I go places and I will come in and the boys will be like you back, I'd be like, yeah, back already. I had a good time my three, four hours. You know, that's all we got in us. Well, is there anything else you want us to know about you?
Speaker 1:I am a genuinely loyal person. I'm actually a great person. I'm a great friend. I'm a great person and I'm not saying that to my own heart. I know I'm good at the core. I know I'm a good person, so I feel like the stuff that I'm getting now is all the things I deserve. I know I've made mistakes, but I think this is my time, so I'm the bomb.
Speaker 2:You better say it. You better say it. She said I'm the bomb. You better say it.
Speaker 1:I'm good people and I love being around good people and I'm around good people.
Speaker 2:That's why you're on the couch. I like to surround myself with good people. You can't have toxicity.
Speaker 1:If I get that word out At this stage of life, I don't have time for that.
Speaker 2:You, we've definitely seen you blossom and blossoming still still more to come, yeah, even just from our first episode, and you're not quite 50 yet. So I'm gonna tell you right now that wait till that 5-0 hit.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm thinking is coming. It's because I can see a little bit.
Speaker 2:It's gonna hit you in the back of the head like somebody just walked up and smacked the shit out of you. Wait till that 5-0 hit all that insecurity and stuff. Because you get to a point. It's something about that 5-0 that you realize oh look, because very few of us are gonna live to 100. Yeah, true, very few of us are gonna live to 100. That 5-0 is a real eye-opener when you be like, oh, and I hate that cliche I got more days behind me than I have ahead of me, that whole.
Speaker 2:It's a whole shift in the atmosphere that you don't care what other people think of you. You know your time is limited, no matter what. We all are limited. You know your time is limited and I want to live every day to the fullest.
Speaker 2:You stop worrying about what other people think and care about you and I don't know why you have to actually see that 5-0 show up on that cake or something. It's a whole shift in your whole thing. So I hate to say it. When they say that 50 and fuck it, it's a real thing, you don't care about what anybody says.
Speaker 1:So I'm looking forward to seeing that Cat down the zone.
Speaker 2:I'm looking forward to seeing that Avanya. We got a couple years but it's coming, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming. All right, well, this is Avanya y'all.
Speaker 1:I'm glad y'all got that we finally got a chance. I finally got back.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'm not mad at you, girl, keep traveling. This is the summer. All of us are not on the couch because our schedules are crazy. That's a good thing, because we still got life, we keep living at this age we're not sitting down and enjoy life. Enjoy love. Get all the sex you can, because I just want sex Can.
Speaker 1:I just have sex.
Speaker 2:I don't even know if I want the man.
Speaker 1:I want you to have it too, girl.
Speaker 2:I don't even know if I want the man, but you know, we'll see. We'll, we'll see, we'll just see. Anyway, this is legra with timeless and unfiltered. This is evan and we miss this. Stephanie and sharice, but they'll be back next week and we will keep on spilling the tea on midlife, one laugh at a time. We'll see y'all next week, y'all. Thanks for watching.
