Timeless & Unfiltered
Welcome to Timeless & Unfiltered, the podcast where we keep it real, raw, and refreshing for women in midlife. This channel dives into the joys and challenges of midlife with humor, honesty, and heart. From navigating menopause, dating, and fashion to tackling health, relationships, and rediscovering passions, we cover it all—nothing is off-limits!
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Timeless & Unfiltered
Growing Up, Life & Love Lessons, and the Power of Self-Love
In this powerful episode of Timeless & Unfiltered, host Leggra talks with s Stephenye about growing up, navigating life and love lessons, and discovering the power of self-love after 50. If you're looking for inspirational conversations for women over 50, real talk about healing, growth, and self-worth, and the unfiltered truth about midlife transformation, this episode is for you.
💬 Topics We Cover:
Growing up and finding your voice
Learning (and unlearning) love
Lessons life teaches us the hard way
Self-love as a daily practice
Embracing midlife with grace and power
💖 This episode is for every woman who’s ever had to start over, find herself, and love herself fiercely.
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You get to know Stephanie, stephanie, stephanie. So I do know that you were a military kid, yeah, so let's talk about your childhood. What's it like being a military?
Speaker 2:I allow people to love me on their terms and you can't tell someone how to love you, but I want to be loved on my terms. The wisdom that we need to go further, because a lot of things that I've been through I've taken lessons from it. Like I had to fall and figure it out and get back up. Okay, let's go, let's go. This is Legra. This is Stephanie.
Speaker 1:This is Cherie and this is Ivanya. This is Stephanie. This is Cherie and this is Ivanya. And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife. One laugh at a time, hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered. I am Lekra and I am Stephanie, and you may notice there is nobody else on the couch but the two of us.
Speaker 2:We didn't kick them to the curb, we didn't kick them to the curb.
Speaker 1:We wanted to do an episode where you guys kind of get to know us a little bit better, yeah, so we wanted it to feel a little more intimate. So today we're gonna have a conversation with stephanie. Oh, it's stephanie. Stephanie, you and I go way back, but we don't go way back which?
Speaker 2:is funny.
Speaker 1:It's like we go way back, but we don't go way back I'll talk about how I guess how we met, or our relationship, or how do you know, I'm not exactly sure.
Speaker 2:So I I tell people I'm like, yeah, I'm hanging out with my Akron crew, because I have different friend groups, yes, here in Atlanta. And I'm like, yeah, I'm hanging out with my Akron crew and I'm like, wait, who's the Akron crew? And the Akron crew was you, kyra and your sister. Yes, so I was like that was my Akron crew. So I met you guys through Kyra.
Speaker 1:I guess. So well, first of all, look we both.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess you can't say exactly, being from Akron Ohio no, but yeah, we went to the same high school for a period of time, were you?
Speaker 1:there when I was there?
Speaker 2:no, okay, I was already gone, yeah but I heard of you and like Kyra because you guys were like yeah, and you guys were like the girl legends like, yeah, they were cold, they were the cold girls, so I had heard of you guys, okay and I would see you all in passing like, oh, that's being an underclassman no, like if there was events that you guys went back to games and stuff oh yeah, we would come home every once in a while. Yeah, yeah, so okay because no, you guys were in college y'all left.
Speaker 1:Well, we know we have a connection somewhere and it comes from Akron Ohio.
Speaker 2:We don't know exactly how but then you know years and years later we're both now in Atlanta.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we both. Well, I had lost track of kyra for years, because even after high school she went to school. I went to a different school and at one point our schools played each other so we were able to connect again. But then of course, we everybody life, life happens, yeah and then we didn't see each other again and I'm not even sure how we connected.
Speaker 1:I'm not even sure how we connected once we got back down here, but I'm glad we did right, and that's what I tell and then you were friends with Kyra, yeah okay, kyra, and and yeah, yeah that's so funny. Like you know, it's just full circle now.
Speaker 2:But I tell people, as big as Atlanta is, it's really not that big, it's not. It's smaller pockets of people and smaller circles of people. So we were going to inevitably, I guess, run across each other's paths some at some point, and it's so funny.
Speaker 1:I remember when I first moved to Atlanta I think I was downtown somewhere and somebody said Hooper.
Speaker 2:I was like because he used to call me that in high school sometime and I was like I know ain't nobody okay, they came, not they're not talking to me and they said it again and I remember turning around.
Speaker 1:I can't remember who it was, but it was somebody I knew from high school and I was like I love that, oh you know I just I was downtown, but anyway, um, somehow we have connected yes, we have again, and you know, between all of our old school concerts oh yeah, we like to go to Our geriatric concerts Because baby people get old oh my goodness Well, I had the blessing of, not too long ago, going to a concert with my son Went to see Cowboy Carter tour with Beyonce and I remember sitting there thinking boy.
Speaker 1:This is really different of how concerts we used to go to. Ours were one a lot smaller.
Speaker 2:They weren't Well no, I went to a Janet concert back then. Hers was cold like the answer. Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Janet is somebody else. Okay, because Janet is cold. Janet is different. Janet, beyonce, that's different. Okay, yeah, but I remember concerts felt more intimate. I guess they Beyonce, that's different. But I remember concerts felt more intimate. I guess they were you know, and you felt almost connected with the artist, so it was a little more intimate and stuff. And I remember sitting in the stadium going, wow, this is so nice.
Speaker 1:And then even the theatrics and the technology and the. You know we all had the little bands on. I loved how she controlled the environment. We had these little bands on and they light up. So when she wanted the stadium to be red, all our bands were. Our little things was red and when she wanted it white.
Speaker 2:It was white when she wanted it blue, they were blue.
Speaker 1:So when you came in, they put these little thing, gave you these little bands and had the cowboy carter band on it, and you didn't do anything. It just lit up when she wanted it to. It was amazing, that is so. So I was like, oh come on technology, so I was looking at him. You know, my, my son was looking at at uh, beyonce, I was looking at everything.
Speaker 2:I was like oh wow, this is wow, this is you know, yeah our concerts were, you know, very simple.
Speaker 1:They just don't stage right there, yeah, and we just right there with that was our concert, but was our concert. But yeah, so I know, with your love of music, what I know about Stephanie is Stephanie loves to dance, stephanie loves to sing, stephanie loves music. She's always a big, bright, bubbly ball of energy. Ball of energy when she comes in the room. But we want to get to know, but we want to get to know, we want to get to know, stephanie, stephanie, stephanie. So I do know that you were a military kid, yeah, so let's, let's talk about your childhood. What's it like being a military?
Speaker 2:we moved around um every couple of years, I think, maybe every two to three years. Both of my parents were in the air force, so in the air force, yeah we both move around a lot, but we were primarily based on the West Coast. So when I came to Akron, I migrated from the West Coast to Akron and I was different. Well, first of all, west Coast to Akron Ohio was a lot, lot and it was literally a culture shock like I had never seen so many black people in my life.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, when I enrolled in high school to where I was like and my grandma also went to John R Bookdale high school, which was a predominantly black high school.
Speaker 2:You went to the blackest of the blackest, and it was such a culture shock to me that I, like mentally, couldn't deal with it, and so my grandmother had to pull me out of school for a minute and then she put me back in and I went and was like, ok, this is, this is, we're going to see how this is. And I remember it was a lot to me and when I walked into the cafeteria I had the tray and I was like I'm probably like 60 pounds in a ninth grade. I'm really tiny and I'm like and it was two girls that were like, come, come, sit with us and they were upperclassmen okay, and it was Aaliyah Dawson and Heather Maxwell, and they were like little.
Speaker 2:I remember their names, I remember them and they just like took me under their wing because I'm just like I don't know what to do. It was just gosh and they were just my friends and just it was great, um, but my vernacular coming I was like such a valley girl and I'm like so you guys like want to hang out?
Speaker 2:I got beat up a lot, oh, oh, that's what. I got jumped so much and and it's really up. And I'm gonna say it's up because, like I said I was like 60 pounds. I was very tiny and it would be the upperclassmen girls. It would be like five at a time jumping on me because for whatever reason, some, some boy looked at me or liked me and I didn't understand that either.
Speaker 1:That's how it always happens.
Speaker 2:I'm new, what is and from where I came from in Colorado, I was okay wait a minute how'd you get to Colorado?
Speaker 1:wait a minute.
Speaker 2:That's the west coast. I grew up between Arizona, california, colorado okay, okay that little. We were just stationed, we moved around, but when I migrated from Colorado to Akron, and then the thing with what you consider a valley girl, it was just my vernacular, I was just more proper, or I was just proper it comes out every once in a while it does, and I hear that people like, oh, there goes that.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, oh my god, it comes out. It comes out every once in a while, but I just felt that it was just. It was never fair. Um, if a boy like me it was. That's why I said Akron was like the worst five years of my life, which is so. I hate that for you. I got beat up so much Like the ninth grade to where my grandmother had to pull me out of John R Buchtel and send me over to Central Howard where it was more diverse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was very diverse over there, because I was like Griffin of the Month in the ninth grade Because I was like I strive to maintain my academic level. I was just like all the white administrators at John. They loved me and I worked in the office. They were like, come hang out in the office because they've seen the kids picking on me a lot and they're like she ain't even from here Y'all messing with this little girl. And they always had me in the office helping them out just to keep me out of the hallways. It was now, jack people up now. I loved high school. It was um, but I went to central howard and I hung with some people that taught me how to fight. So now, now you that, now you, that girl, what. I was able to go back to booktube.
Speaker 2:I was like I wish somebody would mess with me at this so you ended up going back to the yeah yeah, okay, I just went 10th grade central howard learned a couple of ones and then I was always fighting in the streets, now you know, outside of, and then I started dancing, hip-hop dancing okay when, I got back to um booked old chastity right was like when I was in the hall.
Speaker 2:She's like you look like you could dance and I was like I don't know, and then I wound up joining a girls group with her. So now we're opening up pep assemblies, winning the talent shows. We're traveling to, like the what was it sand run the african festival yeah we're dancing. So now people know me as, oh, she's a dancer and people really stop kind of messing with me because now I kind of made a name for myself.
Speaker 1:I'm the girl that dance.
Speaker 2:You know we're opening for men at large and laverde and x clan like we're doing like big stuff yeah we was cold. We was cold, um, we was cold. What happened? I got pregnant, you little fast ass. And so, the crazy thing about it, I got pregnant. I didn't start my menstrual till 17, which was people consider yeah, that's late. That is late for and the first time I had sex, I got pregnant. Oh, wow, jesus, the first time, the very first time I had, and it wasn't even worth it because we struggled so bad.
Speaker 2:I was like how did that happen? Because we struggled so bad. But we had literally just went to Boston and performed at an Orchard Park rec center where new addition was discovered. And so this scout was there and was like, oh, oh, I want to work with you girls, and he was building a girls group and it was like five of us that went up there to perform, but he only wanted me and Chastity at the time.
Speaker 1:And I was like dog man.
Speaker 2:But he had some other girls and he wanted to combine us into a girls group.
Speaker 1:That's how that usually works, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then when we were up there at 2 o'clock in the morning I'm like God, I want some Chinese food and some pizza Didn't dawn on me that I was pregnant. I'm doing the backflips and Sammy grow up and performing, doing all the little stuff, and didn't know that my high-end pops was pregnant. And then we got back home and I told Chaz I was like you know, I miss my period, and she's like well, let's go to Planned Parenthood. And we skipped school that day. Oh wow.
Speaker 2:She went with me to Planned Parenthood and I took the pregnancy test and the lady was like, oh, I think you're in the clear and you start wearing protection. And I was like, ok, oh, so you came back negative. Nothing showed up on the thing.
Speaker 1:It was too soon.
Speaker 2:So, I was like yeah, hall and she's like I need to talk to you. So Chassie's like, did you leave something in there?
Speaker 1:And I was like I don't know.
Speaker 2:So they told you you were negative, that you weren't pregnant, and then called you didn't even make it down the hall, it was a faint line that started showing up. She was like I said oh my God and my coat, and I walked out, sad like the 90s sitcom challenge, because I was really like on the sitcom and I walked out with my coat and I was looking. She said what, why you look like that, I said. She said I'm pregnant and chastity, I didn't cry, I didn't do nothing, I was just like oh my god, I'm pregnant. Chastity cried. She's like you f***ed up the group baby when I tell you that was all that lady was worried about cause she's like this is our chance to blow up.
Speaker 2:And you messed it up. And she ran down the street crying and went and talked to me on the bus and I was like so it didn't go anywhere. At that point we didn't blow up. But that didn't stop the talent and my drive to try to do anything and that's why I wound up in Atlanta, because I would come down here and notice that I was like man, there's a bunch of people that look like me and they're young and they're doing it and they got cars and it's just, you know, I'm going to a club, ain't nobody fighting like it was just all love.
Speaker 2:This is in the 90s, so I'm just like, oh so that's what made you come down, baby? As soon as I got out of high school well no, because I started some mess in Akron, my grandma sent me to California. You got to go and I was like, so I got sent back to California.
Speaker 1:No, did you have a baby at this time, so you and the baby got sent back to California.
Speaker 2:The port of California. My grandma's like I ain't doing this with her and I got sent to California. And what? Deported to California. My grandma's like I ain't doing this with her and I got sent to California. And what I realize now in hindsight, my dad, I was 19. So my dad was 39 and he has a teenager, now a grandchild, and this teenager that was off the chain because now she learned how to fight and she talked messed to dudes and chicks and she's like yeah, yeah, yeah, just just this is you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm assuming, okay.
Speaker 2:I started a whole bunch of mess man, and so now in California it's synonymous for gangs, yeah, Gangs. So he like oh, how do I keep this?
Speaker 1:girl, he don't know what to do with you at this point.
Speaker 2:And he just kept trying to keep me locked up in the house. Bless his heart and I get it. But I was like yeah, I'm not doing this. And one day I called a friend down in Atlanta, was like hey, can I come down there for a minute? And me and a baby, because this was her niece and she was like girl come on.
Speaker 2:And then, um, one day he went to work, I got it and I actually my second baby daddy. He was coming to see me in California and he had sent me money. He was like yeah, I'm gonna come check you out or whatever. And he sent me money and I used that money to buy a ticket and to come to Atlanta. And he done went out to California. He like where is she at? And my dad like I don't know.
Speaker 1:She left and then he called my grandma and grandma like she in Georgia you do, know, do know you and I just had a conversation before we came on camera and I said, Stephanie, you need to put these stories to music or something, Because what I tell you, my girl got stories, I got stories, you got stories for days.
Speaker 2:My life, my life, it's just so. That's how I came to Atlanta and then my goal was. Goal was oh, I'm gonna be a rapper and an interior designer, because I went to Akron U for a year for architecture and interior design okay, I was like yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna do interior design and my goal was to get the athletes down here. So I was like I know these basketball players and football players they houses don't look like nothing because they're dudes. So I was like I'm a network with the athletes and be like, hey, let me decorate your house and in the meantime I'm going to try to be a rapper and blow up. And that didn't happen. My album is still on the shelf, so, but you did cut an album. No, not really.
Speaker 2:I was running around with somebody that said they were putting me on, that was on the label and he had me running around with him and I'm like but I think you just want me to run around, be cute with you. And then I did try. I still was like dancing. I tried out for it to be a background dancer. I was a fill-in for Blackstreet and then I tried out to be a Hawks cheerleader and I felt like I was too dark.
Speaker 1:I didn't know all of this about you.
Speaker 2:I think I was too black back in the day in the 90s Because I got through two rounds and they'd be like oh, cut.
Speaker 1:I'm like oh, oh yeah, but that's more. I was going to say so. You were a cheerleader too, but that's more dancing.
Speaker 2:It's dancing, dancing, like the dancing. But I was a cheerleader in um Colorado. That was little kid stuff and that's what I was going to say. My point is, when I migrated from Colorado and on the west coast, I was still in junior high. Okay. So to come to Akron and be in high school was like whoa and all the kids were really junior high was part of high school like ninth grade for y'all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was like ninth grade and twelfth. But um, in on the west coast, ninth grade was still in junior high and high school was 10th, 11th and 12th. Yes. So I was like, oh, I'm not an upperclassman here, I'm a lower classman and these people are way bigger than the people I'm used to seeing.
Speaker 1:Well, if you were 60 pounds, everybody was bigger than you yeah, I was tiny, oh well, I hate that you have that experience, but part of all of these things and all of these stories is what has grown you to, what is built character yes, and who you are now. Well, one of the things I love about, um, just even hearing your story is like here we are now. What 50? Still have the dream, still striving. But not only that, but you're trying to help other people. Oh yeah, with theirs, so tell me about.
Speaker 2:The artistry? Yeah, tell us about the artistry, the artistry.
Speaker 1:First of all, spell it because people don't spell it wrong.
Speaker 2:It's capital R-T-I-S-T-R-Y.
Speaker 1:Yes, the artistry. Yes, okay, take the a out of it.
Speaker 2:Take the a out of it um, and what I tell people is that I moved to atlanta to pursue my dreams of being a star and we didn't have the platforms that they have now with social media and things of that sort. I was like I was literally out looking like a fool, dancing everywhere, everywhere and I'm just like yeah, yeah, and I'm like, oh, I just did some stuff, man, it's so.
Speaker 2:I was like this is so different. Now it's so different and I just like to provide a platform because I love talented people, I just love the art of, I love how God gives everybody their talents and their spirits and I was like, oh, this is so great and I love watching it so. I tell people come out, do your thing. And I tell people you know it takes a lot for people to get up here and to do what they do, because you do.
Speaker 1:You have people come sing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they do spoken word, comedians, vocalists, rappers, um, that's pretty much it for now, but I'm like, whatever y'all do, come on out, you know um, but I just like and I just be like. I love looking at the people do their thing.
Speaker 1:I just think it's so dope okay, how do they, how, how do they find the artistry? I'm on instagram.
Speaker 2:I'm under the artistry r-t-i-s-t-r-y. There was somebody else named the artistry. I had to put ink but I'm in the artistry. I'm legally incorporated as the artistry okay, um so, yeah, on tiktok, facebook and instagram, I want to do the the youtube. I feel like I'm so old and out of touch with technology, jesus, because even when I post my videos, I'll have people like you want me to help you with your video. I'm like, yeah, that'd be great because y'all trying to tell me I still look like shit trying to put the people out there.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to put them out there, but yeah, the artistry, come check us out once monthly follow us okay.
Speaker 1:So I know your life is such a journey. What would you, what would you want to change about your journey to where you are now? Or or would you change anything about your journey to where you are now? I feel?
Speaker 2:like I wouldn't change, because I think in one of our conversations on one of the episodes, it's a part. It helps us gain the wisdom that we need to go further, because a lot of things that I've been through I've taken lessons from it. Like I had to fall and figure it out and get back up and, okay, let's go, let's go. And so I've learned a lot and even till today I'm still learning. Yes, I learning never ceases and what I realize is that no one is perfect. We're all going to go through some mess. It's just how you handle it. Yeah, how you, who Jesus? Yeah, it's how you handle it. Sometimes I want to crash out like Lord Jesus, but it's a part of life and I take it and keep it going, keep it moving.
Speaker 2:Well, let's talk about a little more personal, stephanie.
Speaker 1:You know Stephanie loves love. I do, Stephanie, love love. I want to be in love. Know you do so bad, so bad, so bad that sometimes do you think sometimes you wanting to be in love so bad have tainted your choices? Yeah, oh, your selection of yeah, yeah, people in your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that's a lesson um, a lesson that I'm learning. I think I I allow people to love me on their terms, and you can't tell someone how to love you, but I want to be loved on my terms. So what I realized is that, instead of just settling for people loving me on their terms, I need to love Stephanie enough to put her foot down and say listen, this is what I. I want to find someone that's in alignment with me and not try to love people into my alignment because I keep getting kicked in the face trying to do that I do, and so, god Jesus, yeah, I just got to find somebody that's in alignment with how I want to be loved, and I swear.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's simple. We all say that it sounds so simple, but finding that person and let's keep in mind, in mind too, we're in a very small pool that pool got piss and shit right.
Speaker 2:We're in a very small pool, it's not the same as when we were younger, so finding, finding that person and you know that's sad because you would think people have evolved but a lot of people aren't putting in the work to evolve. Geez, because I'm evolving what you saying. But why you saying like that Because I'm evolving, because I know I got my shit about me. I'm OCD, but not like super crazy. I just want you to wash your hands when you come out of the bathroom.
Speaker 1:I think that's just standard. No, it's not. It's supposed to be. But I wouldn't say that's making you OCD.
Speaker 2:You would think that people do, but it's not that freaking common men and women, shit, it's not and I'm like yeah, and so I'm just like this, like germaphobe, so um, yeah, so that might get on somebody's nerves.
Speaker 1:I'm like so you're not, you're not gonna wash your hands well, first of all, you, I would, you would have to align with somebody that that's just normal for them let's start with that. A lot of times you don't you may not know that right a lot of those things well, we, we have your story from before about the, the basketball shorts and and, yeah, and I didn't know that that was months in, yeah, so it's like, dang, how do you have these conversations with people?
Speaker 2:and so, jokingly, I had discussed this with somebody and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna just start asking dudes straight up like, hey, uh, this dad, this dad, this dad. And he said, man, I would, I'd get up and walk away from you. He was like now I tell the other dudes, man, don't go talk to her, she's crazy. And I was like, because I want to not waste your time, I don't want to waste nobody's time. So, listen, do you do this, do you do that? Do you? No, okay, we good, let's, let's move forward. And he's like, yeah, I would walk away from you and tell the other dudes don't talk to her, she crazy. And I said it's probably a lot of y''t be that crass, but you know it's you know, yeah, just don't put your hand in my plate.
Speaker 2:No, and I'm not. Don't get anything right?
Speaker 1:no, don't touch me hey dating is hard at this age. It's dating is hard. I don't wish this. I don't wish being single at this age on anybody it's very hard. The dating pool is very small. The um well one. A lot of people are married, whether they are married.
Speaker 1:You're not, you know happy or not you're, they're married at our age. Um, a lot of us that are single, like you said, a lot of people haven't done the work on themselves or are still carrying things from past relationships and and and things like that. Um, and it's hard meeting people now, um one, I don't know. For me, I think I've become a little bit of a recluse sometimes. I think, like you, we have our circle of friends and you just kind of roll in that circle, so you don't, you don't go to beat, we don't. It's harder to meet people, I think, unless you're doing something virtually and online or what they say. You got to get out in these streets, but I'm, you're in your 50s.
Speaker 2:I'll be in the streets, baby. I mean you do. I'll go to a bar and it'll be with girlfriends where we're like let's meet up and have a drink, and yeah, I get to drink.
Speaker 1:I'm chatty, kathy. Baby, I'm very social. I know you are.
Speaker 2:Hey, it's your food, good sir. Yeah, yeah, um, so yeah I, I, but even with going out, I. I went to an event last night and the men just sit there and stare.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, that's what I'm saying. It's different, it's different. Men used to approach men used to send drinks or um, some of them, that's a few, but it's it's far and few between, yeah, few farm, it's far and few between um, and then I always love like we danced back then. That's why I want to go to ellery's okay, we're gonna have to get you.
Speaker 2:I tried to go last night we got got there too late.
Speaker 1:We're going to have to get you over there girl. But I love to, but it wasn't just one place that you would go you could go People dance, even when you go to parties and events and stuff. It's a lot of standing around, not the grown folks.
Speaker 2:Because even the event last night they was out there jooking, it's just not the same.
Speaker 1:But you have to go. You would have to be in a, in a space where it is people our age, yeah, yeah, our age, our age. But it's let's talk about this age thing um with dating. Have you dated younger? Yeah, younger men, yeah, because it seems like now younger. The last relationship I was in, he was four years younger that's still same to me, that's he's still in the he in the range oh, no, younger, my nerves too bad.
Speaker 2:I just know I had a 39 piece and that still had my nerves. I said, oh, you 39? Oh, I just felt like I was just just doing something so wrong. I just I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, it's, it's, it's weird, it is, it's a little it feels.
Speaker 2:It feels unnatural sometimes well, and then you're going to have to have your stuff together. Yeah, like I ain't trying to be be funny, because I don't want you to feel like I'm no sugar mama and I just no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just, I don't know. I've always had this thing that you, you could maybe fuck around with somebody younger than you, but I don't know that I would necessarily marry, because in my mind I'm always thinking that as a woman, you're going to get older and our bodies are going to change and this man is still going to be younger.
Speaker 2:And he's going to want you to try to keep up with him and you're like I can't keep up, and then he's like well, I'm going to go find something younger that can. And I just always, because I just know men, and nine times out of 10, they just go find something younger and they may not lead a woman or whatever. But she's like I don't feel like it tonight, or I'm, I'm going through menopausal symptoms.
Speaker 2:I always different and I just he gonna go get something younger and to mess with, so and that's why I was like I can't, I don't want to with them, no, but then you.
Speaker 1:But then we also have the opposite with men. Our age, yeah, that don't stop them from wanting something younger.
Speaker 2:I don't know what you're doing with it.
Speaker 1:It don't matter what they're doing with it.
Speaker 2:If they want it, they want it Y'all. You on the struggle bus, sir, and you want to run out and try to and you can't. Yeah, it's so.
Speaker 1:So do you still believe in soulmates?
Speaker 2:I do, I do with all my heart and with all my soul. And wherever you are soulmate, so you haven't met him yet. I couldn't have, because I'd be with him and be happy and just in love and marry, and I wouldn't be looking for a deaf buddy. I'd have my deaf buddy, my deaf buddy would be here.
Speaker 1:He would be here. So what? What would you hope people or want people to know about you? Um, that I'm the timeless and unfiltered audience that I am a very approachable person.
Speaker 2:I'm not stuck up, I'm not mean, because, contrary to people look at me, I've had women just look at me like I don't like her. I get that every day Like why, and then it'll take someone else, like have you talked to her? Like she's like the coolest person. But I just I hate that people look at me and judge me like that and I'm like, I'm so not.
Speaker 1:Now, why do you? Why do you think that is that they look at me like that? Why do you? Why do you think people have that perception? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think, because I don't walk around smiling all the time and that's why I said you expect me to walk around, and every day, all day. I'm not going gonna do that because at the end of the day, I do have a life. I'm a single parent with three kids. That stressing me out, you know they're, they're grown, they live on their own, but they have their things. I'm still mama. I still have to walk them through things, mentally, emotionally, financially, and I get drained at times, and then I'm still trying to pursue my aspirations and do things, and you know. And then I'm there for my friends if my friends need anything, and then if I'm in a relationship, I'm trying to take care of my partner or whatever, and so a bitch be tired a lot of times Sound like you're being a woman.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So I'm not walking around just smiling all the time, but I'm just, maybe I guess I walk around with a resting bitch face until someone says it like hey, hey, girl, and then just, it's just. But I just, I have a lot on my mind all the time my life. So you think it shows, it does the stress shows, and I think that might be why people deem me unapproachable. But I'm not. How are we gonna release?
Speaker 1:some stress. How do we relieve stress? What's your stress reliever, other than that it's in a box under my bed? Well, that still don't stop you from having a resting bitch face. So what, I'll be happy I'll be happy. Afterward like, oh shit I can start anew start anew you're so crazy happy.
Speaker 2:But, um girl, you're so crazy. Stress really it's bad, because it shouldn't be a stress reliever. But shopping, when I feel bad, if I'm doing a bunch of stuff for everybody and I'm overwhelmed like I mean go look for some sales and even if it's just one little thing, I buy myself it just, and when it comes in the mail I'm like I feel it's like my dopamine.
Speaker 1:Shopping, shopping. Yeah, that's my stress reliever. Okay, all right, come on, give me three words to describe who Stephanie.
Speaker 2:Give me three words A mama, a creative and a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 1:You are a hopeless romantic. I love, love, buy me love.
Speaker 2:It is bad because I got people that love the shit out of me.
Speaker 1:Well, it has to be mutual, it has to be mutual, it has to be mutual, and especially at this stage of life, I think you have to. You got to find someone that not loving isn't enough. It can't just be love we gotta, we gotta like each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we gotta have stuff in common, because I want to ride this life out. It's. It's simple. I just want to travel, eating. We can gain weight. We ain't judging each other, we just gonna. We gonna baby, we gonna start walking, so keep these hearts up. We gonna still be healthy, but I don't want anybody judging me on me aging, and that's why I find a lot of men start judging women after a while, and it's like no hold on man, we all aging and we're all gonna go through stuff, so I just just listened. We could, though, or you do too much, or and I'm like Lord I just ain't everybody's cup of tea, evidently. Um so, alignment versus attachment.
Speaker 2:I like that alignment versus attachment yeah, because I got more summers behind me than I do ahead, so I just want to ride it out happy and creatively and as a mama girl, you know you're crazy.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for sitting down and hopefully we kind of gave our our listeners a little bit of insight as to this lady you are, you know because when we're all four sitting on the couch, you know the conversation, you know we have to make sure the conversation is being spread and sometimes, you know we miss out. Yeah, you miss out on who's. Who's that, that person? So thanks for sitting down and taking a quick little chat with me on this little episode of timeless and unfiltered who the f is stephanie right, like I was.
Speaker 1:Like well, who the f is? Stephanie? I'm lecra and we are holding it down spilling the tea on midlife one laugh at a time. Thanks, stephanie. Thanks for watching guys.
